Read Part1 here)
During that time my love life was non-existent. I wasn't too sure about that subject, I had already witnessed many problems and many friends who began dating, got too involved in it, to the point of losing their relationship with God. They stopped being assistants and even left the church. I thought love life was so overrated.
Thank God I always had good advice, and listened to what they said. The first thing was... that I was young, I needed to value myself and the other thing was that I didn't need a man to be happy and yes... that it would happen naturally over time. I remember in that time (I don't know how it is now because I've been out of the country) there were a lot of youth who wanted to serve God on the altar and the majority of female assistants wanted to marry a pastor. The thing is, I didn't think that way. I wanted to become a pastor... and eventually in a distant future I thought I'd end up marrying an assistant because in my fantasy world, I wanted to be a pastor, not a pastor's wife (I was a little naive on this subject). This was my mindset and I started telling my friends. I'm sure they thought there was a missing screw in my head, lol.
God does everything so differently, not according to the way we think at all. He tests our words and awaits our action. I was really involved with the things of God but something started happening to me. I began to like an auxiliary (my husband) in that service I attended. When I realized that, I felt so revolted against myself. I began to pray against those feelings. I would seriously look at myself in the mirror and say, "Who are you to judge, aren't you taking the same path as the others? Have you gone mad? This is a weapon of the devil, don't you want to be on the altar preaching the word of God? What you are feeling is not the will of God." I fought against myself... for several weeks.
I felt ashamed to ask advice about this, I decided to only make a single prayer, "My God, I place these feelings in your hands, if this is from you, he will approach me, in case he doesn't, take away these feelings." Quickly... I felt God remove a burden of worry from my head, I left it all there. I didn't know his name, where he was from, if he was in a relationship, to me this was very complicated. I didn't let this interfere with my relationship with God. I didn't become anxious because even though I had a radical attitude, I trusted in God.
The bible says that our heart is deceitful, knowing this, we have to be very careful that our heart doesn't deceive us. Therefore, before giving ourselves to someone, we need to consider a few things like, the persons goals, their spiritual level, if they've truly had an encounter with God, etc. Ask for the Holy Spirit to give you guidance and believe that God has a son for every single one of His daughters, God will bless you. I suggest you read the book, "The Profile of the Man of God" as well as "The Profile of the Woman of God". These are books that have advice about this subject, it's one of the things I did :)
During this same week, the pastor of my church announced to all the assistants that we'd be having a special meeting on Saturday, where 12 regional pastors would be coming. We had to organize the meeting, items and etc.
To be continued...
(Read Part 3)