Everything started out well. The church was big and the work was advancing. The first 3 months we worked together we were doing everything in Spirit.
Soon I began to see attitudes of my colleagues that I didn't like but I just pushed those thoughts to the side – in the beginning. But, without noticing I began having judgmental thoughts... Inside of me I knew those attitudes were not right. It was then that I decided to speak. I first went to her and spoke about it... she didn't like it one bit! I didn't either (we didn't understand each other) and that's where I went wrong... the small snowball had begun. Remembering this situation now, I should have cut off the problem by the root... but no, I left mad over that situation.
After that conversation, we didn't speak the same way. We lived together and worked together, but nothing! We only spoke when we had to. In my world, I knew I was right. I could no longer tolerate her ways, likewise her with me. The situation was getting ugly because now the snowball had brought it in my husband and hers. There was no longer a fresh atmosphere between us.
Finally, we all sat together to resolve this issue because it was now affecting our work. You see how the devil works? With ridiculous little things like this, it didn't just affect us but also the souls. But in the end, the conversation solved nothing. It's sad to say but neither one of us recognized we were wrong (we were blind).
After that conversation I realized it was getting worse, praying wasn't enough, I needed to act in the right way. But I didn't accept I was having bad eyes, in my eyes they were wrong, I didn't realize it was me... I was the one that was utterly wrong...
I went and spoke to my husband, "We're going to act differently." The following day, I did everything to please them, but the devil is so cunning that my colleagues didn't even care. That's when I thought, "See... its not working, I give up." In truth I should've continued, but when we're having bad eyes, anything done against us our immediate response is, "See? I tried but nothing..."
A few weeks passed, and now it was their turn, they did everything to please us... you know how we reacted? The same way they acted with us.
When we lose fear, we lose everything. There's no point in praying, trying to change. If you don't recognize it, even if you think your right, it doesn't matter, God is being impeded from acting. When we get to that point it's very sad, everything looks bad to you, a job, attitude, it takes us to see things with bad eyes, with judgement. Today I don't know how I let things escalate this far.
I had never gone through something like this. I always loved living with other people, I had heard about situations like this but never imagined that it would happen through me.
The situation got so bad that we had to get out of there, there was no control. That same day I had spoken with God, if I were to lose my salvation I preferred to leave there. And that's exactly what happened.
God is so wonderful... He knew what He was doing. In His mercy I saw my big mistake. Many times a lot of people think that judging or having bad eyes is not that bad. But for those who want to serve God, its a HUGE mistake... It ties you up and not only that but, you can no longer hear the voice of God. How can a person like this give something? Can they save souls? It's impossible!
I'll continue this week, you're going to know what helped me get out of this situation... I had to decide, I had to start all over again.
Read Part 3
Read Part 3