Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Willing to Compromise (Testimony of a Pastor's wife)

I've wanted to share an experience I had with God in order to help someone out for a while now but, I was always leaving it for later, I didn't have time. Actually, it's not that I didn't have time but I didn't know how to say it. In the end I got the courage to overcome this challenge.

It's been two years since I've been doing the Work of God on the altar. My husband and I had only been married 4 months and were then transferred to assist a more experienced pastor. In the beginning it was very difficult for me, being away from my family, my pride wouldn't allow me to compromise in my marriage resulting in many arguments and nights of crying. When I was an assistant, I thought I was so strong until I came across a problem much bigger than any other I had overcome as an assistant: overcoming myself, my ego. It took me time to recognize that I had to change because I was very spoiled, I wanted to compare my marriage to that of my parents. There was no point to this because the more I criticized him the less he changed.

He worked exhaustively winning souls and when he got home, besides than the bad food (lol), he had to hear my complaints and comparisons, and whatever he said I took it as an offense. If he said that I had to learn to make bread like his mom or his favorite dessert, it led to an automatic argument. I kept grinding it between my teeth feeling inferior every time. Do you think I did something to change this? No. I thought the problem was on his behalf, he was expecting too much of me.

All he wanted was to have peace and dinner on the table (lol). And I in a bad mood just wanted to compare everything to my old life as a single woman. I was on MSN wasting too much time chatting with my single friends that I didn't have time to hear the voice of God. Only until the time that I managed to disconnect from all those (which deep down I knew was taking up the time I was supposed to be serving God) things of no help, I then started reading books on marriage, participating in meetings that the main pastor's wife of the state had with those that had been married for 3 years or less and God started showing me how selfish I was being and how I wasn't valuing the man God had given me to help.

I had prayed so much when I was single and now had to face the truth. I needed to compromise, I needed to mature, I needed to be humble and recognize that my husband's life could not revolve only around me but in the suffering souls because, that is what God had called us for. I began to realize that if I didn't become the helper he needed, he'd never be the man of my dreams and that's when everything began to change. I began reading cooking books and making those recipes (lol), he got so happy that he began complementing me and I began feeling more secure about helping more around the church, organizing more my time. Many times, he was in need of a shirt and it wasn't ironed or cleaned, it wasn't the lack of time but lack of organization and willingness, I'll talk more about this another time.

Summarizing, my marriage began changing once I took the first step, without waiting to receive anything in return, that's where I learned what true love is, and that the stage of adaptation lasts for a short amount of time when we are willing to compromise. 

Daniela Garces - ParanĂ¡, Brazil

"A servant that has the same characteristics as God does not only do His work, but overall, His will."