Seeking until further notice (Part 2)

When I got home, it was as if my day had already ended. My head what swarming with thoughts wanting to understand what had happened. I remember that in my house I didn't have any privacy, my living room was my bed. I needed to speak to God, I was still holding my tears, and I didn't want to let it all in front of my mom.

I took my bible and went to a block close to home, where there was no one. I began crying, question God why... I was serving Him with all my heart, I had done anything to receive this. And that's when He spoke to me:

"For God is not unjust to forget your work and labor of love which you have shown toward His name, in that you have ministered to the saints, and do minister. And we desire that each one of you show the same diligence to the full assurance of hope until the end, that you do not become sluggish, but imitate those who through faith and patience inherit the promises." (Hebrews 6:10-12)

When we serve God, we are blessed! We are HIS people! That should be the real motivation to continue growing in Christ. There in no injustice in the work of God, if we see something go wrong, it's with people... Know first that God sees all things... Secondly, He lets those things happen. If were are true servants of God, we have to go through tests, through situations that we weren't expecting, we are not pampered when we serve God, things like these will always happen and we'll have to overcome them with perseverance and patience, and this way, we'll be acknowledged. If were really are serving God, then, it's normal for us to trust in Him, right? That's exactly what God spoke to me... it was a bucket of cold water!

I went back home, fully aware that I was indeed serving God, I would continue doing my part. A uniform would not make the difference, but rather me, behaving as a servant, God knew this was what I needed and I finally understood. 

I did as the pastor had told me, I went to church everyday to participate of the meetings (even Fridays I passed through the trail of salt) I even thought... I can do more without a uniform, I then made a prayer book and before the meetings started, I would sit with the people and ask for their names to pray for. I evangelized on Sundays...for me this period of time was very powerful. Being put down as they say, was not a punishment for me but a necessity for my life with God. I continued serving God, and you want to know for how long this went on? 7 months... That's right.

Besides I never stopped serving my God because He is the most important One in my life and I didn't stop saving soles. Many came and told me I was dumb, that I had to report the pastor to the head one, because they can't do that. I didn't do it, I knew God was working in this situation... I trusted in Him. I only gained during those 7 months...

I'll continue this... just wait :-)

Read part 3...

Seeking until further notice (Part 1)

My times as an assistant were moments that'll last a life time. It was a time where I needed to be ready to learn, no matter the cost. When God calls you, you need to show Him that you are chosen. I was only 15 years old, single and still with a lot of maturing to do... deep inside of me I had an assurance that I was chosen to serve, to be a different kind of assistant and it all depended on me. 

I was in the faith... I went to church everyday, it was a pleasure to be there. When I went to the meetings I didn't just go to go, I always went with a purpose of blessing someone, counseling, and if a person came to speak to me, it had to be God Himself speaking to them. That has always been my faith, I didn't want to be just one more. If I was raised as an assistant, it had to be a privilege for me, not a routine. I always made sure to do things for God, to serve Him in a way that wouldn't become a habit. I would never miss any meeting at church, if something was needed, I was there I didn't mind sacrificing.

Back then everything was fine... actually things were pretty calm for a person who was sacrificing, being dedicated and being faithful. Wouldn't you agree?

And then... our pastor changed. I didn't know him. We had an assistants meeting, some organizing was done because there was a lot of us... assistants were needed to work in some meetings... I remember that he (the pastor) made it clear, that if we were here with all of our heart, we had to do our part, we had to be responsible and do our part as an assistant. If for some reason it wasn't like that, God couldn't count on us. He also added, if there were assistants that were serving just to be assistants, it'd be better for them to give up their position. God would end up revealing, and if someone failed to fulfill their responsibilities and didn't have a good excuse, they would be put down until further notice.  

I really liked this new direction, it was the right thing. If we were truly there, we had to be servants of God and help people, being responsible. A few weeks passed, I began seeing assistants stop being assistants, they began having to seek again and no longer wore the uniform.

"My God!" I thought, "What is going on?!"

It was God working, He knew what He was doing. Little did I know the same thing would happen with me, lol. I didn't go to church on a Wednesday where I usually assisted, I remember it was because I had gone to work to another city and wouldn't have time to be back on time, so I participated of the service in the city I had gone to work at (note: I didn't inform the pastor, I only informed him the next day). When I went the next day to speak to him, I explained and apologized about what had happened. He stayed silent just looking into my eyes – no reaction whatsoever.

After a few minutes, the pastor tells me, "It's better for you to only seek now, don't wear the uniform anymore, don't go to the kids zone, don't go into the assistants room, from now on you'll only go to the service room and back to your house... If you want, you can still evangelize."

Wow. It came out of the blue... I wasn't expecting this at all. I had not sinned, I hadn't done anything so why did I have to stop being an assistant? Look, I didn't understand what was going on... I was speechless. It was a complete shock to me, I left that day stunned.

"What's going to happen now?" was the first thing that came to my head.

I loved doing what I did. Just because of that? I cannot believe this. Well, I went straight home that day... with a bunch of thoughts in my head. But, do you want to know what I did?

I'll let you know tomorrow... and you're going to see how God works, no matter what the situation is, He wants to see that you'll be faithful to your word. If I truly wanted to make the difference, here was my opportunity. It took a little bit of time for me to notice though.

Read Part 2...

Analyze yourself

If we don't know ourselves, we can't mold ourselves to be the way God wants us to be. This is not an easy job girls. No one can become organized and mature without knowing themselves. We need to be angry and look within ourselves, be brave, not worry about how or what, and look to cut off the bad root.

Know your abilities and use them for the good of others. This is not being selfish. Being humble is not devaluing yourself or putting yourself down, it's being faithful to the truth about yourself. And that we can only understand when we start knowing ourselves and recognize that our life belongs to God, and that we're nothing without Him. When we know ourselves, we overcome the  misconceptions about our selves and we start eliminating them one by one.

Our change first begins in our mind and we can't be scared to notice our weaknesses, failures and mistakes. Assume up to everything you've done and start correcting what is wrong using faith and perseverance. It's not easy to confront and overcome these things, but it's necessary friend, in order to give God full access to use us. It's necessary to aspire and be humble to recognize these things. Know that our behavior brings about good and bad, explore this, only this way will you know. Do it without fear! Don't forget and of course, recognize your values, do a correct and genuine analyzation of yourself.

Learn to love, accept and be patience with yourself. When we do a deep examination within ourselves, we experience the rebirth of freedom and life.

Pay very close attention to what sincere people say about you, and you'll know more things about yourself. We also have to be fearless to accept correction and constructive criticism, those who give us a sincere criticism are much better for us than those who don't say a thing.

Always be willing to learn, to look at your life and humbly recognize what you need to change. Don't think that a humble person is perfect... know friend that, they make a lot of mistakes, but every time they make a mistake they recognize it... and they learn every time, keeping in step with God... this is the difference and I'm in this faith :-)